Guest Post: Jealousy. What’s a girl to do?

I am pumped to announce that today I am featuring my first ever Guest Blogger! But here's the twist -- we are keeping the author's name and location confidential! You will see why in her post. 

She is seeking YOUR advice, men and women alike, wherever you are out there in blog world. You all always have such great insight to share, so I hope you will lend your opinion to help "Confused 20-Something" out today.
 
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First, thanks Katherine for letting me be an anonymous guest blogger and use your awesome audience as a sounding board. I’m sure others have encountered similar situations before. So let’s dive right in, shall we?

Like most of you, I’m a fairly average 20-something woman with a blossoming career who is struggling to figure out where she wants to go and what she wants to do with the rest of her life, all while trying to keep in touch with friends and stick to budget. Sounds familiar, right?

I also have a long-term boyfriend with whom I live. He and I found each other through a common interest and that’s helped us create a strong bond. We’ve been together almost a year, and living together for more than 6 months. Needless to say, it’s going well. But there’s something about this relationship that I’ve never encountered in past serious relationships: he is jealous.

For the first 6 months, I found this quality endearing. He kept it at bay with little comments here and there that made me feel special. He was afraid of losing me (after all, he is 40 and I’m in my mid 20's. That might be a concern of mine, too, if the shoes were on the other foot). It was cute.

Well, as you can imagine, there have been moments in the recent past where it’s not so “cute” anymore. In fact, instead of getting upset with the men who make comments or come on to me in front of him, he saves it till later and gets frustrated with me. Lately, he’s been having trouble with my spending time with or even talking to male friends that I’ve had since college, or even high school.

Needless to say, I’m dumbfounded. I’ve tried “putting myself in his shoes” but I don’t necessarily understand because I’m not the jealous type myself. Especially with long time friends. I’ve always had this theory that no man should ever come between me and the friends I had before he came along, nor would I ever want that to happen with friends of his. But slowly I’m starting to see that happening to me.

Friends have said in the past that jealousy never goes away; this person will always be this way, though I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. If I can prove to them that I am loyal and honest, eventually they won’t feel this way – or at least, the snotty behavior will end. Right?

Now, I’m not one to run to my friends and be all like “OMG, my boyfriend is a crazy jealous dude, what do I do?” -- because let’s be honest here, your friends are always going to side with you. They know you best. They love you. They want to see you happy. They’re going to tell you what they think is best for you, regardless of the true actions of the other person. Same with family. So when it comes to advice of this matter, I think strangers provide the most honest, objective insight of all.

So let’s hear it y’all. Who has encountered this before? Anyone ever successfully break their significant other of jealous tendencies, or does it usually end up blowing up in your face?

Or, is it YOU that’s the jealous one? Maybe you can provide me a little insight into your envious ways.

Thanks for listening!
Confused 20-Something